- Learning to go slowly, and carefully through the forest of COMMUNICATION
- Learn How to Set Boundaries
- Learn How to Share Responsiblity
- Practice Honesty
- Work Though Addictions
- Commitment: Are you in or out?
The best thing I do with couples is teach them how to talk to each other. We start immediately with communication skills. I ask the couple to write out three issues, not necessarily the hot ones. For instance, he might say, “I want to talk to you about vacation,” and so his job is to tell her everything he thinks and feels about the issue of vacation. Her response is to report back everything she hears. In bad couple communication, we don’t listen. Couples often get defensive, so the true issues can never be approached. By performing this test, we see where each person is coming from. It’s a test of the couple’s ability and their commitment to really want to start talking with each other, learning about each other, and getting each other.
Once couples are able to really “listen” to each other then we begin approaching the real issues. After they get that, counseling becomes more organic and there is a skill to take home.